How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
50% drunk capacity currently
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize