His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We named our party play list daddy issues
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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