I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
