Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
