Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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