Porn is love you can see.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize