he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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