I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
