The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
