waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
