I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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