Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
