wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
