No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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