put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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