So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
