We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
