I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
