woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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