So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
