that's an acceptable place to lick
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
