you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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