Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Randomize
