Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize