he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
