Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
