Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
