I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
time to smoke my breakfast
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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