I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
