I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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