my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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