it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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