I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
