i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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