mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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