He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
