also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
