Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
