is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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