so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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