Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
