Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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