I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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