I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize