no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize