My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
this beer tastes like vomit already
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
