maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
