lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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