ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
