so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
