Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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