dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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