I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
