I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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