You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
