Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
