I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
