please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
