David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
