yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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